


so just for the moment (let's be still)

by CarbonFootprint



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Established Relationship, Fluff, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, Third Path spoilers, spoilers for revelation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 20:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7120549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarbonFootprint/pseuds/CarbonFootprint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"For one, he found out quickly that Xander was incredibly selfless, but he hid it well beneath an air of perfected nobility and indifference. Still, Ryoma saw his kind acts when the other first prince didn’t know he was watching. He saw the way Xander doted on his siblings, very similar to the way Ryoma felt he interacted with his own brother and sisters, but Xander took affection to a whole different level...</p><p>Xander was something different."</p><p>In which Xander gives more than he receives in life  and Ryoma is there to help him remedy that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so just for the moment (let's be still)

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo! I have been wanting to write this HC for over a month and I finally got around to it! The original headcanon for this fic can be found [here](http://acepalindrome.tumblr.com/post/143445567383/i-had-a-headache-all-morning-so-i-was-thinking) by acepalindrome on tumblr!! 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

About six months after the war ended, Ryoma was confident that he knew Xander more than any average Nohrian, perhaps even more than the man’s own retainers knew him. The future king of Nohr appeared stoic to others, painting the portrait of the dutiful first-born son, but Ryoma could see behind that exterior before the war was even over.

He supposed he was lucky that Corrin brought their two sides together; he would have never gotten the chance to know the man who would lead the Kingdom of Nohr in the future if not for their shared sister, and he was grateful for that.

For one, he found out quickly that Xander was incredibly selfless, but he hid it well beneath an air of perfected nobility and indifference. Still, Ryoma saw his kind acts when the other first prince didn’t know he was watching. He saw the way Xander doted on his siblings, very similar to the way Ryoma felt he interacted with his own brother and sisters, but Xander took affection to a whole different level.

He watched as Xander played with his littlest sister whenever she asked, even if he clearly looked too tired to humor her. Xander helped his little brother with battle tactics, and he respected Princess Camilla to a level Ryoma had never seen another man treat a woman, even if they were related. Xander was close with his retainers to a degree that seemed to warrant the title of friends rather than master and servant. He sparred with his female retainer whenever she asked, and kept his male retainer company whenever the smaller man seemed lonely.

“Laslow is from a faraway land,” Xander had told him once during the war, a sad smile on his lips, “He and one of Leo and Camilla’s retainers each came to Nohr together, but he confides in me frequently that he misses his homeland.”

“Perhaps he will return there to visit after the war,” Ryoma had smiled, “This war is not going to last forever. If anything, it’s nearly over.”

“True,” Xander laughed, “But I… I think he will leave, and leave forever at that. It will be a daunting task to yet again find a replacement for someone I consider close, someone I trust, but I have done it in the past and I will do it again. I wish for him to be happy above all else.”

That had surprised Ryoma. Saizo and Kagero had been at his side for many years, and he considered them valuable confidants and allies, but his retainers never crossed the line with him between master and friend, far to respectful from their upbringings to dare.

Xander was something different.

Xander loved and cherished too easily. He gave out kindness as if he had an endless amount, and Ryoma found himself wondering if that nature in him was to make up for King Garon’s wrongdoings, or perhaps it was a reflection of his mother, the Queen Katarina whom Ryoma had only heard small snippets about as a young child.

In either case, Xander was selfless, and Ryoma found himself seeing that on occasion he was too selfless, too unconcerned with himself that it negatively affected him.

Once the war came to a close, he saw Xander frequently, though not as often as when they saw each other during the fight in the hidden kingdom. Ryoma became King of Hoshido just as Xander assumed his father’s throne in Nohr, and he was there to applaud when Garon’s crown was placed into Xander’s golden curls and he stood in front of the masses gathered, ready to lead them into a new era of peace.

Ryoma kissed him for the first time that night, finding him alone outside of the coronation celebration. They had spoken, quiet words Ryoma could scarcely remember as they had been wiped away a second later when he had made the decision to just _kiss_ him.

Thankfully, Xander hadn’t forced him away. In fact, the new King of Nohr had embraced him, holding to him tightly as they shared what he hoped would be the first of many kisses they would experience throughout their lives.

They were quick and desperate at first, the air filled with sharp, panting breaths as their lips met repeatedly, hot and wet and so fraught with a forlorn need that Ryoma couldn’t believe he hadn’t done it sooner. They slowed eventually, the exchanges becoming longer, drawn out with slow presses of lips and tender, seeking fingers brushing along exposed skin and through coronation-styled hair. He could finally bury his fingers in Xander’s perfect curls, feeling the flaxen hair sliding through his fingers as the King of Nohr breathed against his skin.

“How long?” Xander’s voice flowed into his ears as he caught his breath, their foreheads pressed together as they stood in the hall, just breathing, just _being_.

“A long while,” he answered softly, “It started a little while- after you came to see me when- when Scarlet,” he trailed off, sighing lightly against Xander’s lips. Their first night in Valla had been hard, spent nursing injuries from the foes that had ambushed them, and then tending to the emotional toll of holding Scarlet’s body in his arms.

Xander had come to his tent that night, his armor gone and golden hair free of the crown he had always worn as crown prince. They had been alone, vulnerable to one another, and Ryoma knew his emotions had been out in the open then, like exposed nerves that could be triggered and tortured with just a few words.

No harshness had come from the man who had been his enemy just a little while earlier, only sympathy for a lost ally, a lost comrade, a lost loved one.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Xander’s words had been generic but quiet, soft and apologetic in a way Ryoma hadn’t expected from the other prince. He had come closer, pressed a hand to Ryoma’s shoulder and squeezed lightly, a sign of comfort, of care for a new ally, and despite the pain and sacrifice his heart had taken a new direction.

He had loved Scarlet, but she was gone. She could have been Queen of Hoshido, his queen, but she was gone, taken away too quickly without even a good-bye.

Xander filled that hole in his heart to such an extent that often he forgot about Scarlet, forgot about her fire and spirited presence, and he knew he shouldn’t feel guilty. She had been a free spirit. She would have wanted him to move on, to love another.

And his heart had chosen Xander.

Since Xander’s coronation, Ryoma had seen the other prince only a handful of times, mostly when he visited Nohr himself. Nohr was a mess, a kingdom trapped in turmoil, and Xander was their overworked king.

Still, Xander made time for him, time for _them_ , whenever he visited. He grew to enjoy Nohr far more than he ever had in the past. The kingdom slowly transformed from a place of destruction to a place of comfort in his mind. He enjoyed the mornings he would wake up in Xander’s bed, the taller man still held against his chest. He could kiss Xander awake then, laying soft presses of his lips to the back of blond man’s neck until brown eyes opened to a new day.

Xander’s days were filled with work, too much work, and Ryoma disliked the toll it clearly had on him. Even when Xander visited Hoshido, he was hounded by Ryoma’s own advisers about trade agreements, land squabbles amongst smaller neighboring nations, and more and more problems that Ryoma didn’t think should be weighing so heavily on Xander’s shoulders.

It was the beginnings of the first summer after the war and Xander was visiting Hoshido for two weeks, leaving his siblings in charge of Nohr in his absence. Ryoma was pleased when he knew he would have Xander to himself for two weeks. They hadn’t had that much time together since the war ended, and sometimes he felt himself missing the closeness and comradery of fighting alongside the other king.

Of course, the plan didn’t play out in his favor when it seemed that suddenly his advisers had found dozens of matters for Xander to attend to while in Hoshido. The first day Xander was in the kingdom, Ryoma scarcely saw him, and the other king hadn’t come to find him that night in his quarters. Xander had never visited Hoshido after they had started what could only be called a courtship so it wasn’t like the other man knew where his quarters were. Waking up to an empty bed was disheartening, especially when he knew the man he adored was in the same castle.

After lunch the day after, he found Xander in a study near the library surrounded by scrolls and paperwork, holding his head in one hand as he slowly scrawled over a paper.

“Xander?” he questioned softly, opening the door to the brightly lit room, “There you are,” he smiled, closing the door behind him and striding up to the desk.

“Ryoma,” Xander sighed, and Ryoma hated the weariness in his voice, the dull exhaustion that shrouded the deep brown of his eyes, “I’m sorry… I just got so occupied with all this work. I didn’t expect there to be so much, but I suppose it’s what was waiting for me after not visiting Hoshido since you became king, right?” He huffed out a quiet laugh that didn’t sound quite right coming from his throat. It was too tired, pained even, and Ryoma frowned harder.

“You should stop then,” Ryoma said gently, giving Xander a soft smile, “You’re tired, I can tell. We can go rest now. You shouldn’t have all this work pushed onto you when I intended for you to visit me for some deserved peace.”

“I suppose,” Xander breathed in turn, and Ryoma watched as he scrubbed his hands slowly over his face, his fingers coming up to rub at his temples in a way Ryoma recognized, “But I- I should really get this done. I’m sorry, Ryoma. I do wish to spend time with you but I-”

“Does you head hurt?” Ryoma cut him off easily, coming around the desk to cup Xander’s cheek, feeling how the pale skin felt slightly warmer than normal, “You’re a bit warm, and your head aches, does it not?”

“Ryoma, please. I-”

“Please don’t, Xander,” Ryoma frowned, his thumb moving slowly to caress the sharp jutting arch of Xander’s cheekbone, “I wanted you to come here and be at peace. You are far too overworked, and if you are working yourself to the point of pain and illness, I won’t have it, understand?” He was firm with his words, maybe too firm, but Xander needed to hear it. Yes, Nohr was in disarray after the war, but Xander’s work over the last six months had done so much for the land caught in turmoil, and Ryoma knew for certain that he deserved a break, a peaceful reprieve from his duties as king.

They both deserved it.

They deserved _time_.

Time to love and be loved. Time to learn each other more and more. Time to create new, bright memories to cherish when they were apart.

“I suppose I cannot hide from you,” Xander finally murmured out, another weary sigh leaving his lips, “What do you plan on doing then?”

“Come with me,” Ryoma said softly, reaching to grasp Xander’s hand in his own, tugging him up gently from the desk, “I know what to do.” He led the other man slowly through the halls, keeping his hand clasped tightly in his own. Eventually, they reached his own quarters and he pushed open the doors to the room, only lighting one of the lanterns hanging near the door to keep the rest of the room mostly dark.

“Where are we?” Xander asked quietly, reaching up to rub at his temple again with careful fingers, a badly disguised wince flashing over his face.

“My quarters,” Ryoma murmured, shutting the door quietly, “Where you _should have_ slept last night,” he said pointedly, taking Xander’s hand again to lead him over to the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Xander frowned in the dim light of the room, “I shouldn’t have gotten so caught up with work. I scarcely slept last night anyway.”

“Don’t worry yourself,” Ryoma soothed, reaching to cup Xander’s warm cheek in his palm once more, stroking his skin before his slid his hand upwards, gently pulling the circlet he still wore from his curls, setting the crafted metal on the table besides his bed, “I just want you to rest now, alright? Do you get these headaches often?”

“On occasion,” Xander said as he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing his hands to his forehead, “More and more frequently now that I’m king. I cannot seem to turn off my mind when I lay to sleep. Frankly, the the most recent substantial rest I got was the last time you were in Nohr. It seems only your presence can quell the thoughts that persist to race inside my head.” Ryoma frowned, reaching to gently help Xander out of the jacket he was wearing over a collared, Nohrian shirt as the other man spoke.

“Lay back,” he said quietly, moving to sit on the bed against the pillows, gesturing the other man. Xander didn’t hesitate, easily leaning back until his body was flush with Ryoma’s, curled into his side as he let out a long, shaky breath laced with exhaustion.

He was quiet for a while, simply watching and feeling as Xander’s body started to relax into his own. He reached up, pressing careful fingers to Xander’s temple, rubbing slow, soothing circles into the skin as his other hand stroked through golden curls and down his broad back.

“Takumi often gets migraines,” Ryoma murmured, “When he was a child, it was more frequent I believe, but perhaps he just doesn’t want his big brother doting on him in such a way any longer,” he laughed quietly, “I used to take him to quiet places with the lights lit low so he could relax. I suppose you’re similar to him in that regard. You both overwork yourselves.”

“I don’t think I mind you doting on me,” Xander mumbled, his eyes closed and voice quiet in the room, “I have missed you, Ryoma…”

“And I you,” Ryoma smiled, leaning to press a kiss to Xander’s brow, his smile brightening when Xander’s eyes opened halfway, bleary with tiredness but filled with appreciation, with what could be called _love_ , “I want you to stop this for a little while,” he sighed, “I want you to think of yourself, Xander. I never thought it could be a flaw, but perhaps you may consider that you are too kind on occasion. Your selflessness is getting the better of you.” All he wanted was to see the lines of worry in Xander’s face even out. He wanted him to rest and rest well at that. He wanted him to breathe in and out without the weight of the world on his shoulders. Xander made him feel less burdened with all his own kingly duties with just his presence and he just wanted to reciprocate.

“Too kind?” Xander huffed out a quiet laugh before he winced, his eyes closing again after a moment, “Perhaps… But I have a lot to make up for.”

“You don’t owe the world anything beyond your duties as King of Nohr,” Ryoma sighed, rubbing slow, gentle circles into Xander’s back, feeling knots of stressed muscles even through the fabric of his shirt, “You don’t have to go beyond. Your father’s rule was not your fault, and you should not feel as if you have anything to apologize for.” He knew Xander’s father was a strong force on his life, perhaps the only influence that powered him more than the love for his siblings he so clearly held in his heart, but King Garon was gone, destroyed by Anankos, and all that was left of the man were the memories and his legacy.

“He killed your father, Hoshido’s king, your mother too,” Xander mumbled into his clothes, and he could feel his lips through the cloth, “How can I not think about that?”

“It’s in the past. It’s _all_ in the past. Now it’s just you and me, our siblings, and the future of our kingdoms together,” Ryoma breathed in turn, reaching to cup Xander’s cheek again, skirting fingers over his forehead slowly, “You need to rest now, alright? I’ll be here when you awake, and then for the next two weeks you and I are going to relax as I planned for us, alright?”

No answer came even as he waited for several moments, and he realized that the steady rise and fall of Xander’s chest and the slow, even breaths leaving his parted lips proved that he had finally given into his exhaustion and welcomed sleep into his tired mind.

“Sleep well,” Ryoma couldn’t help but to murmur into the quiet around them, leaning to press his lips to Xander’s hair before he wrapped the sheets over the other king’s body. He didn’t doze off himself for a while, instead taking the time to just look at the man in his arms. He had always heard as a child that Nohrians were exceptionally beautiful before Hoshidan opinion changed from regarding their enemies as attractive to regarding them as conquering savages. Truly though, he never understood the original stereotype until he had gotten the chance to really see Xander close up.

Xander _was_ beautiful. His skin was pale and smooth to the touch, matching his fair, flaxen curls in a way that was close to perfection. The deep, warm brown of his eyes was even more defined by the colors of his skin and hair. There was so much depth to his gaze, a kind of which Ryoma had yet to even explore to the fullest. He had seen kindness in Xander’s eyes. He had seen sorrow and rage and love in Xander’s eyes, but there was so much more to see, so much more to discover and uncover and _cherish_.

“I love you,” he whispered into the room, freezing when Xander shifted against him in his sleep, a low sound leaving his throat as he unconsciously nosed at Ryoma’s shoulder. When the other king stilled again, Ryoma smiled, continuing to stroke his fingers along Xander’s back and over his shoulders, “I love you,” he repeated, tasting the words as they rolled off his tongue, “I _love_ you.”

Perhaps some day soon he would find the perfect moment to finally tell the man sleeping against his chest that he had grown to adore him in a way that was beyond simple infatuation, beyond an attempt at courtship.

Beyond his love for Scarlet.

A different love than he felt for his siblings and for his kingdom.

A love that was only meant for one person in his heart, and that person was Xander.

Xander, the King of Nohr, a kingdom that had been an enemy for so long that it was hard to believe he could come to love their king.

But it was a new era of peace, a new age of love and respect and friendship, and hopefully he could share every bit of it with Xander. They could show all of Nohr and Hoshido that love between two former enemies was possible, more than possible, and that together they could be even stronger.

As for now though, all he wanted was to keep holding Xander while he got the rest he both needed and deserved, and eventually his own eyes slipped shut and he welcoming the comforting warmth of sleep, a kind that his body had ached for the night before.

By the time he woke up later in the afternoon, Xander was sleepily stirring against his chest, shifting under the sheets with their legs brushing slightly. When he opened his eyes, Xander’s were still closed, but a content smile was on his lips, one that Ryoma couldn’t help but lean to kiss.

“Did you sleep well?” he murmured the words against Xander’s lips, reaching to card his fingers through Xander’s sleep-mussed curls, “How are you feeling now? Better I hope.”

“Mmm,” Xander hummed lightly, his head craning up a bit for his nose and mouth to nuzzle at Ryoma’s jaw, “My head aches less, and perhaps the residual pain is due to hunger.”

“Well, I’m sure that could be easily fixed,” Ryoma laughed, pressing a kiss to Xander’s forehead as the other man’s warm, brown eyes finally opened, blinking up at him slowly with sleepiness still etched in his features. Coming out of sleep with his face cast in the low glow of the lantern in the room, Xander looked ethereal and he ached to kiss him again.

“What is it?” Xander’s voice brought him out of his trance a moment later.

“It’s just that- you’re beautiful,” he breathed out before he could think about the words leaving his lips, “I would like very much to kiss you.”

“You don’t need my permission,” Xander laughed softly, “I think we’re beyond that, don’t you?”

“I agree,” Ryoma nodded before he leaned down to claim Xander’s lips more fully than before, cupping his jaw as the other king leaned more into him, reciprocating every movement with slow yet passionate movements. Xander was hesitant when he kissed, still awkward and shy with his actions, but that just made him sweeter to taste, more endearing to love. As he held Xander in his arms, surrounded by comforting sheets while tasting his lips, Ryoma thought about the future and his heart soared.

**Author's Note:**

> cries I love sick fic sobs
> 
> Thank you for reading my first RyouMarx fic!!! I really love this pair and I hope to write more for them very soon! Thank you for any comments or kudos! They make my day when I ready them //w\\\
> 
> As always, you can find me on twitter [@leokuumi](https://twitter.com/leokuumi) and on tumblr [here at carbonfootprintao3](carbonfootprintao3.tumblr.com)!!! 
> 
> Thank you again! <3


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